A Village needs Villagers

Building a community, having people to rely on is essential to the human experience. Everyone needs people around them when life is challenging.

How to build a community:

Step 1: Be a person.

Easy enough, but what kind of person are you? Generous? Kind? Selfish? Particular? Prickly? Funny? Reliable?

The thing is, all of these people will be in a village. Each type of person has a place in a community. The best human quality to have in a village will be collaboration and problem solving.

Step 2: Show up.

You’ve got to be around to be around, ya know? You aren’t part of a community if you’re never in the community space. The thing is, showing up is sometimes inconvenient, very inconvenient. It likely won’t always fit your schedule, your villagers won’t need your support when you’re free and ready to give it. There will be days when you had hoped to stay at home, but you’ve got to drop off a casserole. Part of showing up is making the choice to put others before yourself. Even if they aren’t your favorite villager. They may be the one to come clean your whole house when you’ve got to have a surgery. Speaking of…

Step 3: Don’t give to get.

Meaning: don’t be there for people just to get something back. When you are part of a community, the entire thing will operate on an ebb and flow. Do things for people because you can, because it’s in your heart. If you can take your elderly neighbor to her knitting group once a month, do it because it makes you feel good and gives you a relationship to value. She won’t be able to give you a ride anytime soon. However, she will likely give your gratitude, great stories, and maybe a scarf. Maybe you have a grumpy, stoic member of book club you dread to see each month, that would clean your whole house when you need surgery. The thing is, you’re never going to know what to expect from people. All you can do is act based on the type of person you are.

Step 4: Trust people.

Act based on the type of person you are and make space for good to come back to you. In order for that to happen, you have to trust. Open up your life. Your messy, flawed, beautiful life. Trust people to see you and accept you. To understand what you need and be willing to help. Let yourself be supporting and supported.

Step 5: Keep Showing Up.

That’s it. That’s the whole step. Be with people. That makes a community.