October Light

Let’s light a candle or three. What if we were sitting together on an oversized corduroy couch. Each with a fluffy blanket that is just the right size to wrap our shoulders and tuck our toes. You have a mug of warm apple cider. It’s a glass mug that is beautifully hand-painted with falling leaves and gourds on swirling vines. I have a pumpkin shaped mug of perfectly spiced chai. We might trade sips while we trade secrets. 

“I’m not sure where to go from here.”

”I can’t keep going there, but I feel like I don’t have a choice…”

”I feel like I don’t deserve to…”

”If there was that ‘one big thing’ I would feel like I could walk away.”

”Sometimes I do wish it was worse so it would feel valid.”

The secrets that keep us tethered to nouns that aren’t good for us. The people, places, and things that take pieces of us. Make us doubt. 

There is a part in one of my very favorite books* that says, “Give this fear a name, so I can put your mind at ease.” Followed by, “I understand your fear because I have also felt its many shades.” Speak your fears out loud, give them a name, so that I can tell you that it will all work out. That it isn’t just okay to take care of yourself, but essential. Give your fear a name and see that you aren’t alone. We have felt your fears in many shades. Even if I haven’t felt your shade, I can hold your hand. I can hear your secrets. I can help you through.

My dear, my darling, my dreamer- let’s light a candle. In the low glow of light, know that I see you. As we prepare to don disguises, know that what you bury deserves to see the light. What you are, where you are matters. You don’t need permission to let that be true. We are embracing the spooky, so let your fear out, name it. Let’s share our secrets, our burdens.

You have a choice.

You deserve it all. 

Your experiences and feelings are valid, even if they seem small.

We are here together, searching for something more. When October is gone, we can send these fears away with it, looking ahead to gratitude and thankfulness each day. What are you grateful for? What can you let go of? Each little thing that you can release will lighten the load. Freedom from your fears and secrets happens one small change at a time. What is the smallest thing you could release that would allow some spookiness to leave your life, that would crack the door open for gratitude to come in? She will be able to find the way. After all, we lit a candle.

*Shout out to Rebecca Ross for building insanely stunning worlds.

If you’d like to turn this reflection into a small practice, try the ritual below — a gentle way to release what’s heavy and make space for what’s next.

This ritual is meant to be gentle. No rules, no pressure — just a little space for honesty and release. You’ll need three candles, something to light them with, and a few quiet minutes to yourself.

To Open

Begin by gathering your items and clearing the space where you’ll sit.Take a moment to ground — maybe light incense, put on soft music, or simply breathe deeply.Hold the unlit candles together in your hands for a moment, feeling their cool weight.As you breathe, imagine drawing in calm and exhaling anything that feels heavy.When you’re ready, set the candles in front of you — your small circle of light, waiting to be born.

For those who enjoy adding a touch of magic, correspondences are listed at the end for a little extra intention and energy.

Candle One — Acknowledgement

Light your first candle. Take a breath and say — out loud:

“I see the weight that I have been carrying.”

You’re not trying to fix anything yet — only to witness it. Maybe it’s a habit, a fear, or a version of yourself that’s ready to be seen. If you’d like to take it a step further, write a few words about what this candle represents on a slip of paper.

Candle Two — Releasing

Light your second candle beside the first. As the two flames dance, imagine them untangling what no longer belongs. Say:

“I release what no longer serves me.”

This could be a worry, a relationship dynamic, or even a thought that keeps circling back.If you wrote something earlier, fold the paper AWAY from you — safely burn it, watching the smoke drift upward like a quiet exhale.

Candle Three — Receiving

Now light the third candle. Let this one represent openness — the soft light that comes after surrender. Say:

“I make space for what’s meant for me.”

Think of one thing you want to welcome in: peace, joy, gratitude, creativity, rest. It doesn’t have to be big — just honest. This is your light to carry forward.

To Close

Take one last deep breath and look at the three flames. Notice how they move together — separate lights, same glow.  When you’re ready, blow them out one by one, saying:

“I see it. I release it. I welcome what’s next.”

Let the smoke curl upward and carry your words with it.

Ways to Amplify Your Ritual

Use color candles Yellow for the first (Acknowledgment), Black or Grey for the second (Release), and Green for the third (Receiving). White works beautifully as a universal option.

Set the mood Dim the lights, settle into comfortable seating, and light incense or diffuse your favorite scent.

Honor the rule of three Many traditions recognize three as a sacred number. Repeat each statement three times. Fold your release paper away from you three times. Begin and end with three slow breaths. The repetition strengthens your intention — that’s why there are three candles here.

Ultimately, this ritual is about intention.

It’s about believing in what you say, in what you release, and in what you’re inviting in.

You are the magic that makes it work.